Friday, March 12, 2010

heart check-ups:

As I sat there... alone... on the super-thin-paper-sheet-style examination table.. I couldn't help but think about the medical condition of my heart. Yes, medically speaking - my heart is considered pretty weak. *insert emo heart with a band-aid over it*

I can't deny the fact that my heart pumps about three times as much as yours does. I can't deny that my body has a natural tendency to produce tainted blood with improper levels of cholesterol. I can't deny that two vital organs (heart & liver) are subject to high amounts of hardcore medicine that I take in order to keep my artery ways from blockage.

Yet despite this, fear not. God has totally used my genetic magic to deepen my faith, obedience and trust in Him throughout the years. Look at it this way... it's easy to put neosporin on a cut you can see but when things are literally internally out of your control - you are left as it should be: turning to Jesus for healing. Fact: no worldly distractions/quick fix applications apply here. It's pointless. I'm thankful for this. I rest comfortably and secure in His desire for my life of servant-hood for His Kingdom. He has proven my existence by my simply being alive and I refuse to question it. I've already been told I am a "medical marvel" for being the healthiest unhealthy person ever but I'm not at all shocked by this. God performs miracles all the time. Just open your eyes a little bit wider and allow for the sensitivity to witness them.

This "condition" is something that I will always have to be aware of but God will never give me more than I can handle. I trust in His promises. This stuff doesn't define who I am or what I am capable of but it def has played a significant role in my relationship with Christ over the years. See, the beauty of circumstance comes when you can stamp out the difference between God's voice and satan's lies. Satan has told me before that I am sick. God is quick to rebuke that statement with the understanding that my life is alive and complete in Him. When you discern the promises of the Gospel Truth you can then truly appreciate the grace that we are given. Me? I could drown under the grace that God pours out over me. Luckily, He washes me in it rather than makes me tread frantically beneath it.

The only reason you would know I have anything like this going on in my life is if you are a close bestie of mine. I don't talk about it much because I feel 99% fine most -if not all- of the time. Isn't that rad? Jesus will be the Healer you desire if you let Him be. Make no mistake, I still have this "condition" and sometimes it causes me pain but how my body responds to it and how I react- totally God at work.

Anyway, after the blood was drawn I finally let myself breathe. God must giggle at me quite often. I openly admit that I get anxious over things I can not control at times. While I was waiting on the Dr. to come back in for his final words - I began thinking again... but this time... not about medical things but rather the spiritual condition of my heart. That's the most important thing that I would want people to know about me. Do I reflect Jesus in my daily walk? Am I an example of Christ's character via my actions and speech? My desire is to let His light shine through me. Alone - this wouldn't be possible but the Holy Spirit can totally use you & me to be lights in this dark world, let Him do work!

A few simple questions to ask yourself:
1) where do you find your worth
2) where are your thoughts
3) what is your focus/mission
4) do you pray - often - daily

I share this because I think we all need heart check-ups.
Don't wait until you feel sick to evaluate the condition of your heart.

Check it often. Stay accountable.


ps Just got results back from my tests on Monday and my cholesterol went down. Best results I've had in a long time, yep - it's looking good :-) Praise if you get a chance for this is truly a situation to stand up and give thanks.

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