Saturday, September 27, 2008

bittersweet

-West Side Story finale tonight = sad
-Party til Sunday with cast = eeeeeeee!

Bittersweet

Im going through my emails and I usually delete my horoscope but today I felt like reading. Yes, my old boss from etv set me up with this once - anyway..

Your horoscope for September 27, 2008

Today is an excellent day for you, Kristie, and you will find that you are a welcomed addition to any crowd. Your delightful nature is at its most active. You have the unique capability of being aggressive about getting what you want without disturbing the flow of the energy around you. People will respect and honor your sensitive and nurturing qualities. This is what will win the game for you.

Yep, I'm pretty awesome.

Friday, September 26, 2008

hold me

"When a single heartbeat occurs earlier than normal, it is called a premature contraction, and this can cause the sensation of a forceful heartbeat"

For the record - whoever said "my heart skips a beat" and made it sound romatic obviously never actually experienced it.

I'm not sure what tests are in my near future but it's def an awkward sensation to say the least. The skipping of the beat makes you dizzy but only for a slight moment in time. It's when it happens several moments within a minute that you fully understand the skipping comparion.

"Slow arrhythmias (bradycardias) can occur because of slowing of the electrical signals initiated by the SA node, a condition called sinus bradycardia. Bradycardias can also result from varying degrees of "heart block," wherein certain medications or diseases in the electrical conduction system of the heart impede the transmission of signals from the atria to the ventricles (see the "Bradycardias" section below).

Premature contractions are isolated heartbeats that occur earlier than expected. The premature contraction is followed by a pause, as the heart electrical system "resets" itself. The contraction following the pause is usually more forceful than normal contractions. The patients frequently perceive these more forceful contractions as palpitations."

Awesome.
On that note. I'm taking meds then going to bed.

Where did this come from and why does the right side of my body hurt when I breathe in deep. I guess I'll find out soon. Wish me luck.

*all quoted information came from:
http://www.medicinenet.com/palpitations/article.htm

Monday, September 22, 2008

captain obvious, table of 1

I should win an award.
I deleted the post I wrote last week. You know the one.
The one where I exposed myself on accident due to insomnia and lack of reality. Don't get excited, I didn't post nude pictures of myself - I mean emotastically exposed. The kind of image where eyeliner runs down the cheek.. crashes to the floor.. next to the tight jeans and ipod. Don't worry, the chucks are safe.

'I miss you, do you miss me too' 'can we just be friends and see what happens' 'does this keep you up nights, wondering' 'how many times a day do i cross your thoughts' 'do you wonder if you cross my thoughts' 'have you felt alone, restless' 'how many drinks have been dedicated to the loss' 'how many excuses have you made to cope' 'remember when...' 'do you want another chance at the possibility of us, ever' 'am i simply better than all of these questions combined'

Yes, gag me with a romantic spoon full of vodka.

There is no need to express matters that actual matter.
Now, I said what I meant and I meant what I said but to those who need to know how I feel - they do. The people who actually care about me - they get more of me than you ever will. I'll shed light on certain things but prob not as emo as the blog in question.

those who mind don't matter.. those who matter, don't mind.
'classic cliche #45'

and lucky for you - you don't have the right to know anything I'm not ok with sharing. Sorry.
I'm better than being specific anyway, my talents in writing are in being general to the point of annoyance. Welcome.

______________________


West Side Story stole my heart and has kept it productively busy.. though alcohol has been involved a time or two! a-yo! Fear not, my money has not been wasted on rash, immature, i want to "feel something" right now so I'm going to drink my money and pee it out later type ordeals. Tempting. Fine.. but that only happens on the nights when I get free shots from a bar during intermission.. but you get my point. Pretty points.

If you are one of my friends that live in the area and you haven't been cultural yet - go see it. You only have 4 chances left. After the show, we don't come out and rush the crowd. We go change then go out. I tend to escape out the back door with my friends. So if you have come and I haven't seen you.. sorry but glad you came, hope you liked it.

Food for thought:
Is it a sad day when a bar puts condoms out to replace the popular courtesy mint?
Is it smart that people realize safe sex practices are more important than mints?
Should bars be tempting lonely individuals into having sex by broadcasting condoms?
Isn't sex supposed to be sacred? Sigh. With someone you want to be with for more than 5/10 minutes? Someone you love.
Or, is this bar ahead of the curve and it realizes people will do it anyway.. might as well prevent diseases. I'd say childbirth.. but this is at a gay bar.
That goes back to sex being sacred, doesn't it?
ZING! To each his own, each his own.

Yep, the best part of being yourself - you have the right to believe, live and function the way you want to. Someone will always hate you. Some group will always try to sway you. As long as you are ok with yourself, be just that. Just believe in something - whatever that may be - or you will fall for everything.. and nobody likes a sucker. Well, babies do. I guess. Think for yourself, seriously.

New irritating thing:
people who randomly TYPE in ALL caps to PROVE a point.
Really?
Are you screaming at me or do you think i JUST CAN'T READ normal sized text.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Lost and Found

I found my old TBS CD.



Wednesday, September 17, 2008

interesting

That's all I have to say.

Now, if you'll excuse me - I have some some important matters to attend to.

It's bittersweet... having to do what I'm about to do.

Monday, September 15, 2008

sidewalks

They don't tell you
what you know
you should want.

Video of the AM:
Forgive the shameless plugs by the website.
I'm totally ok with artistic sidewalk dance.
I'm back into photography and that alone is inspiring of creative shots. I enjoy unique twists open to interpretation.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

The More You Know...

the smarter you become.

And the topic for tonight is: Collections.

video

Friday, September 12, 2008

my friends > your friends


I had intentions of writing a brief post last night but alas, when I arrived back home.. sleep was my best option. Just trust me on that one. Anyway, a group of friends came to see me dance in the play!! Awesome. It's nice to have support and not to mention.. friendly faces for some post-show antics.

I was lucky enough to get some rad flowers that are now sending crazy happy vibes in my room. My emo self needs some light sometimes as I do tend to get apathetic and stubborn in realism. So yay to bright, happy flowers that smell awesome. I heart flowers. I even like dead flowers.. does that make me weird? I don't care, I enjoy the beauty in dried pedals. To each his own.

In other news of randomness:
-I think black & mild apple smells good.
-I exchanged make-up tips with drag queens. (a few of my friends dance on a bar at a place called 1109/PT's Cabaret. And they look aaaamazing in their attire)
-I believe coughing combined with crunches gives you a tight stomach
-I'm considering becoming a serving wench.
-I'm trying on Halloween costumes already.

Oh Halloween.. you skanktastic holiday you. Yah you, you slay me.

I freaking love costumes and dress-up.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Stay Cool Boy.....

Real Cool..

Opening weekend of West Side Story has been a success. We've had 3 shows so far and all 3 have been sold out. I've never done a Broadway run before but it'll be interesting to see how long we can hold out a healthy, responsive audience. It's been great dancing again. I've missed dance and being on stage has sparked that again in me. I'm glad I'm doing this. When I'm not on stage, I'm backstage having dance offs with other dancers. I'm learning stuff and getting into awesome shape - that's never a bad thing.

The More You Know:
West Side Story is a musical adaptation of the classic Romeo and Juliet.
It was first brought to us in 1961, directed by Robert Wise (The Curse of the Cat People, The Haunting, The Sound of Music.. etc) and choreographer Jerome Robbins (Fiddler on the Roof, The Pajama Game, Gypsy, Peter Pan.. etc)

Romeo and Juliet
-star-crossed-lovers
-montagues vs capulets
-suicide, murder.... death
-both lovers forever separated from both love and hate

Tony and Maria
-tragic lovers
-jets vs sharks
-accidental death, murder... death
-one lover dies, the other must carry on - broken hearted and alone

And yet, I adore both stories. There is something romantic about two people breaking the odds to be together. To overcome obstacles set in their path... and to be able to hold each other, experience love - knowing that the outcome could be tragic. It's bittersweet enough to promote deep messages about love, hate and tolerance. It shows how sad life can be when you act as a mere puppet while your society controls your thoughts and beliefs. We all fall victim to this as our culture is what has come to define us but you get the picture. The opposing groups are so caught up in their sides that they both loose sight of why they are that way in the first place. They simply hate because they are "supposed to hate".

The ring leader - usually the most insecure of the group, has a self indulging vengeance that is being carried out through the puppets of the gang. For both tragic stories, it ends in a manic twist of fates. Yet the good that comes from their lives.. teaches lessons to those left behind to own up to the consequences of their actions.


"How do you fire this gun Chino? By pulling this little trigger!? How many bullets are left Chino? Enough for YOU? Or YOU? All of you!! You ALL killed him! And my brother! And Riff! Not with bullets and knives! With HATE! Well, I can kill now too, because now I have hate!!! How many can I kill Chino? How many -- and still have one bullet left for me? Don't touch him!!" - Maria






Friday, September 5, 2008

Am I wrong?



Am I wrong in this?
The unanswered question remains.
The feeling in the pit of my stomach is unsettling.
I try, believe me. But I just can't get a grip on this water.
Nothing sticks within me that makes sense for a finale when I know in my gut that there is more.

I'm not fully convinced
that there's something wrong with this.
Could another point of view, biased and untrue,
tear me away from you?

I wish I could say tonight
when you bend and wave goodbye..
......

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

This is as real as I can be.



I have a scar on my face.
It is giving me character and a story.
Ironic it would happen now considering the last few days I have experienced.

If it doesn't heal properly.. I will feel like Harry Potter. Maybe that will provide me with some mystical luck. Yes, I can quest with knowledge that I am the best at what I do and I've got paper cuts to prove it. Or so it reads.

Case in point.
I can't pour out more than has been evaporated today.

I'm searching for a location to help casting and somebody got jealous.
It's a ham of a cat.
No sunglasses. The sun is dull today.

I am drawn into the confusing, the sad, the tragic.