Thursday, November 29, 2007

Coheed and Cambria

Friday afternoon - me and my bestest guy friend ventured out into a ghost town in NC to attend what turned out to be a kickass concert. I bought him a ticket to the show as a birthday present and the day finally arrived!

After hanging/killing time in the local stores and near freezing to death.. we were finally allowed in the doors... to partake in a very interesting night, ha.

Here is what I learned from the "crowd" before my homeboyz rocked the stage... -If you are a 60yr old hic from the back country - high/passing joints around - drunk out of your mind - rude - sweaty - and downright vulgar... PLEASE do not come anywhere near me. You are the reason I roll my eyes and bite my tongue. I appreciate the lesson in patience.. but there comes a point.. ya know? Grow up.

Now that I got that out of my system.. ha! You... just.. you had to be there to be around this group of idiots.. that's the only way you could understand! Other than being pushed and elbowed a few times - Coheed rocked my face. I also appreciated my buddy blocking half the moshers from me and helping me see the stage when I could. Yep, sucks to be short!!

We made it back, late but safe - so all is well. Now I'm ready for another show. I would love to see Bayside again or Brand New/Taking Back Sunday. I'm just "in the mood" for that style of show...

ps and fyi: taco bell is good when in starvation mode.


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

teardrops on my guitar

".. the only one that's got enough of me to break my heart.."

Ever go swimming in the ocean on a nice, warm, summer day?
You feel energized and refreshed as the cool water splashes against your thirsty skin…

Ever go swimming in the ocean and the moment you close your eyes a giant wave consumes you and before you know it, you can’t breathe… your eyes burn… you taste salt and despair... feeling alone and helpless…

Welcome to last night.

I ran into several people I knew last night when I ventured out on the town. One person I had not seen in 6 years, one person I had not seen in 2 years, another a mere month or two and another friend I just saw the day before. Did I mention I was there with none of those people.. I was actually there with some people I had only met an hour prior.

An interesting night to say the least.

Something felt odd about the night, I felt strange. Well, I outta trust my gut more because
the person that is currently disappointed in me and my life.. was there. I guess I walked by a large table of people and he was in the mix. Had I known, I would’ve just stayed outside to avoid any painful emotions. I saw him on leaving. He is someone that stands out and I always admired him for being such an individual. Too bad it’s harsh right now.

I ended up sitting down with 2 guys I went to school with just to catch up. One is engaged and the other is doing well. Time slipped by me and when I checked my cell phone, the texts were nothing short of happy.

I don’t know why I do this to myself. It’s painful and it’s sick to care like I do. Pathetic at best to allow things out of my control to eat away at my sides. .sigh.. friendship means the world to me and the thought of loss is never easy to swallow. Makes me fear ever being in that place again.. but.. sigh..

Wednesday, November 14, 2007



So my roommates and I have this thing where we like to scare each other but since Halloween ended.. we kinda stopped.. or I did.Well, my roommate Lyndsay told me that she heard strange noises coming from my room. We think someone tried to break into our house I thought she was just trying to freak me out. I walked into my room like.. "oh whatever"... didn't know she had a freaking camera on me.. and well.. you can see the rest..


Friday, November 9, 2007

Tuesday, November 6, 2007


"'s ok if it's not a white Christmas... we can sleigh ride on the sand...we'll bundle up in sweatshirts and sweaters... just don't you let go of my hand"

If only life were as easy/simple/innocent as song lyrics make it seem.

Silence speaks volumes. Yes, I folded and I told.
Silence can do serious damage to your ear drums.
Maybe it's because in those moments of awkward silence.. you have no choice but to hear what is going on inside your own head. Helpless and in the zone, you are forced to pay attention to your thoughts whether you like it or not. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about reflection and down time but... sometimes silence is murder. At some point you have to reach within yourself and break the cycle.

I'm doing all I can to take my own advice. I'm doing all I can to be better than someone who doesn't care. I do care. A lot. I'm not afraid and yet I am terrified of breaking down my walls. My walls are built pretty high and through the years.. I become more against letting people inside the fort. It hurts to open up when you have no idea if that door will be shut in your face.

I've done the cookie cutter sweetness but sometimes the recipe calls for a lil salt and spice. Why do I word things like that? lol What I mean is.. I dance around issues in a happy-go-lucky light more than hitting such issues directly because usually that calls for serious tone and nobody wants that. Forgive me. I can't seem to shake the silence.


Monday, November 5, 2007

get down with the sickness


I'm at home today.. sick.
The mack-truck of germs hit me yesterday morning and I'm in recovery.
I've gotta get better because when I get sick.. I tend to stay sick for a long time. I have a very weak immune system. (I don't recommend that to anyone) I took a trip to for some vitamins and medicine last night so hopefully that will kick in soon and help combat the sickness.

As for now, I sit and watch abc family programing and catch up on youtube music videos.
I'm so used to waking up going to work that I did have that little kid feeling today of "being sick and staying home.. watching cartoons and the price is right" - all the things that make being sick so cool. Well, I may/may not be watching the price is right and lounging in my pjs. Just saying. I only wish my Mom was here to bring me my meds on the hour.. I tend to forget when I am supposed to take my next pill. Growing up.. good times.



Thursday, November 1, 2007