Sunday, May 3, 2009

Am I correct to defend the fist that holds this pen?

Your tongue is a rudder, it steers the whole ship.
Sends your words past your lips or keeps them safe behind your teeth.
But the wrong words will strand you... come off course while you sleep. Sweep your boat out to sea or dashed to bits on the reef.

**If you don't want to read this, don't get mad if you do**

1) Break the legs off the beloved pedestals you've built and look people in the eyes.
I'm completely ok with respecting people, having positive role models in your life and being so touched by someones existence/example that you value them at a higher cost than your average stranger. I am completely not ok with people setting such people on unrealistic pedestals and turning respect into worshiping practices of flattery in hopes of social status/networking/ego filling gain.

I feel like I see this all too often. People have lost understanding of how to go about friendships properly. Friendship stems from attraction to personality and interest in wanting to know someone better - you extend kindness and roll with it. You develop a seesaw effect of a give and take relationship for friendliness. I feel that the people who don't feel such affections reciprocated - put those they seek approval by atop of a "tower of worthiness" and henceforth, attempt to worship them in order to be accepted. It is quite frustrating to see bc these situations are not good for either party involved. The worshiper is putting their identity in an idol and the person being worshiped is either freaked out - or egocentric enough to allow it to continue when they should hopefully know better.

I have people that I respect and look up to - of course - but at the end of the day, I'm not breaking my neck to fixate on their lives. Maybe it's just me but I see a lot of this going down and it makes me sad. If you speak of your identity being in.. ex. Christ - check your heart - is it?

2) Passive-aggressive subtext
I'm sarcastic. I'm aware of this default that I so comfortably sink into. Thus, feel free to bring me out about it as I speak from both sides of my mouth on this one. Point blank: If you have something to say - freaking say it. I'm good at banter so I can pick up on this behavior and over analyze your mannerisms and subtext quicker than you are aware. Even if I'm not directly involved, it bugs me to see the merit of conversations get lost based on someones attempts of being obscure. In actuality, you are being more clear than crystal in such situations. I'm ever so guilty of covering truth with a joke or a backhanded jab via my quick wit. (most commonly when in the midst of distracting the notion of a potential conversation that I'm not prepared to have) Because being direct is something I've dealt with - I can easily spot it in someone else.

Yet, who gains anything from subtext? Why are you so afraid to be open? All it does is creates mindless overanxious concepts in someones mind that leads to various assumptions that are hardly ever the truth. I've found that a lot of people with these behaviors are insecure and are so overwhelmed with conviction/guilt/etc that they hide behind 'the mask of conversation subtext angle.' I'm someone who feeds off of impressions I get from others and if subtext takes precedent over actual conversation, not for my lack of trying, then I back off efforts bc it's clearly not my issue to take charge of at that point. You might be a coward if...

3) Actions speak louder than words because words hold no weight without motion.
Actions speak volumes. Actions give words their meaning. This relates to both of my previous rants. (esp with the passive aggressive subtext bc verbiage is only half the battle) Running away from someone and/or looking down at the ground to avoid eye contact typically means that someone is afraid/embarrassed/ or convicted of something. In those cases, why not seek redemption? Why not talk face to face and bridge the gap of dysfunction? Just as someone is constantly doing their work in the office without need for recognition - actions speaking volumes of their work ethic. Just as a mother who doesn't like to cook, provides a meal to her family every night - what an action of love.

You can determine a lot of discernment of someones character by how they live their lives and how they relate to others. Maybe because I studied this in college and I feel like I owe myself gratification for dissecting situations but... I mean.. like it or not, people are watching. If you are saying to yourself, "I don't give a crap about what other people think of me or what I do" - then you have more pride issues than you'd like to admit. The point is: if you put yourself in the spotlight of someones life - be prepared of the repercussions of undesirable behavior. Nobody is perfect - clearly, look at me if you want that verification - but based on what I notice - I am left with no choice but to express myself.

4)Practice what you preach. Me, you - everyone.

1 comment:

woodshed said...