Wednesday, February 11, 2009

it's the little things..

that get you going sometimes.
I live for the little things in life.

So normally, I would not have taken the time to:
a)email myself a picture from my phone
b)amp it up
c)post it on here

but it was a rather special tree so I figured I would go for it.

I found much beauty in this tree. On my 10 minute break, I came outside to be near it. The tree, me, a pen and paper... yes, it's moments like this make my heart warm. You know.. what I mean? The weather.. so comfortably confused between warm and windy....then God flat out inspires me through this image of his hands. I dig when my eyes truly open to nature. Not just the wow of the ocean, the sky... but as simplistic as the pedal on the daisy, in the flower bed, by the door. Amazing.

If you read my long post from a week or so ago, you know ive been thinking a lot about identity and spiritual gifts lately. I've made a lot of ground in getting into the heart of Christ in me and what I 'bring to the table' so to speak. To be honest, that is the part I struggle with the most.

On a similar note: I will say that I have that 'things are falling into place' kinda vibe. And... it's such a refreshing/comforting feeling. Columbia feels good to me right now. (it's never really felt like 'home' to me before but God is calling me to be here and I get that now. I hear it and I respect it.)

I feel called for something and I listen.. but it's not clear to me yet. All I know is that right now - I'm called to BE in Columbia. I'm called to BE at my new job. (even though I have never had any desire to be in this type of learning that with this job - it's a great opportunity to help people and witness and that's pretty rad..)

I still remember sitting in my room thinking, "maybe I'll move back to Sumter.." I broke down and thought about packing up. In that moment, I asked God about it and a few hours later.. I got a job offer I couldn't refuse. Timing is so key in our lives, isn't it. God's Time. Not Kristie's Time. Sometimes I think I own the clock of life but in reality, I can barely wrap my mind around the concept.

This blog is getting longer than I planned. I need to go study.

Oh, sidebar: I know 5 people that have gotten engaged over the last month. CRAZY. And I'm in two weddings coming up here soon. And now, I have a few friends in new relationships - good, healthy, God-Centered relationships and Im super happy for all of them. Yet I had a convo with someone who was quite bitter on the relationship topic and so.. if you are bitter... here is something to think about:

I'm sorry if you were ever in a bad, unhealthy relationship. I've been there. I know, it sucks. Don't let that person crumble your spirit - it wasn't right, obviously. Hopefully you can take it as a learning experience. On the other hand, if you were in a good relationship, again ive been there too, and it still didnt work out.. that means.. it still wasnt right.

You see for me - I've never had a truly healthy relationship. What do I mean by that? Where was God? He was in my heart, not in his. Are we still friends? Oh yah, most def. Were we meant/designed for each other? Not at all.

If you are bitter, just think about it more deeply.
Are YOU ready? Is your heart in the right place. Are you truly pushing yourself to grow as you are OK with the gift of singleness?
And if you are...
then guess what. Maybe he isn't ready yet. Maybe he still has to work out some issues that you don't know about. IDK?!

Point: Trust in God's timing. It's sucha hard thing to do sometimes, esp when we have desires in our hearts. For me? I've got faith. I'm def OK with resting in God's timing and blessings. He provides for us even when we take Him for granted. The purity of grace.

Ok, I'll wrap with this: if it helps you: make a "dating profile" to clarify your vision. Scripture backs this uppppp. Prov 29:18

This is getting super real here but I'm so serious about people having a healthy perspective, Ima share a few of mine with you. I made this in 2007 and it's still true bc I refuse to settle.

-believes in God. 2 Cor 6:14. <-- Tru Story.
-a Spiritual Leader. a must, must, must.
-someone I respect and can show that respect to. someone I can build up and encourage. Serve alongside.
-someone I can trust and confront in grace when it calls for it.
-someone with passion, energy and uses it in a positive way
-must have a sense of humor, im kinda sarcastic.. so im a fan of friendly banter and clever wit.. i appreciate it.
-must love music. not nec the same kinda music but music. a lil bit of dance involved would be a SWEET plus since both are passions of mine
-must care about fitness (working out, being healthy without hardcore crazy about it bc.. i make cookies.. and stuff.. when the mode strikes)
-doesnt mind coffee shops bc i like to freq them
-totally down with traveling
-of course, at this point in the list - the natural attraction is there
-etc. that's all ya get.

ok, I exposed myself in text only as needed to stress a point. girls talk with girls, guys talk with guys. have accountability in matters of your heart. pray together.

and plz, be intentional. if you like a girl/guy - respect their heart and be intentional. im all about taking it slow and getting to know someone but just dont be 'that person' that turns on the ego and rolls with it to whoever is nearby to be in the fan club. i will never fake any signs of potential in something when there is none. there is just no need to hurt someones heart or your own for that matter. keep it real and legit.

Get yo' vision.
If someone comes to mind after thinking, writing, praying about this.
Pray some more - God knows the desires of your heart.
Let him do his thing but make sure to listen if he tells ya to step up.
(ive heard so many stories lately about fear holding ppl down.. let go, Let God. Not to be cheese.. but c'mon, be real)

That said.. here are a few more 'out of context' teacherisms from class today:

"the monkey of responsibility"
"a gate keeper, like in ghostbuster"
"i kissed that. i kept is super simple"
"alright, lets talk... as jay leno would say"
"ET was an alien"
"until the cows come home from texas"
"i got you in lock down"


LD said...

kp - we sang this song at church a while back when i was having similar doubts about being in columbia.
love your streams of consciousness!

~kp~ said...

Oh yeah, I'm def familiar with this song! The lyrics are so simple but I mean.. what a true story. Thanks for sharing the link, I appreciate it =)